She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My penis needs a shock collar
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize