He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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