Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
love makes seman taste better
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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