I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
