GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
