i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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