i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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