Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
