When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
