i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
