From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
