I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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