omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
