did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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