Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My dick has a subreddit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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