i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
