somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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