She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
