I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
