Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
