Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
