You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
