officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
