if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
