I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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