yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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