i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
