Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
