Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
