I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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