so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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