do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
