Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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