Sry I called you an 8
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
