you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
