**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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