Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
