I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
