is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why do cheetos always look like penises
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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