I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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