I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My balls are so social today.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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