Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think people are normalizing furries
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
