you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
