I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
