Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you made out with another girl for some wings
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
