There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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