Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
