That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
