i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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