That's intense
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
