she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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