I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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