it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
