The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
