This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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