oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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